I think it's okay for me to feel like this...

I am always hesitant to write posts like this one because I feel stupid and guilty that I am feeling nervous and scared to study in Rome.  But as I said before, I want this blog to represent every part of the experience and not just the excitement.

So today, I actually realized that I am going to be in Rome in two months. We did an activity in my Italian class about booking trains and it hit me that I could buy one of them and use it soon…that sounds like it should make me happy but it freaked me out a bit. The rest of the day I felt as though someone had punched me the stomach.

All week, different people in my life have been coming to this realization as well. My roommate keeps telling me how much she will miss me and how she keeps picturing herself sitting in our room alone…without me. My mom came over to drop something off yesterday and told me how much she is missing me lately and how she realized next semester she can't just get on the parkway and visit me. My sister is reading a blog about a girl in Rome and she realized that soon I will be doing those things and she won't be with me. Lastly, today I called my dad and he said how hard it is going to be having to count the minutes we talk on the phone while I am in Rome.

It all seems very real today. Like before it was just an idea in my head and it was fun to talk and dream about but now it is reality. I don't know if that is good or bad but I hope this feeling goes away soon.