Sunday, October 14, 2012

How do I show people I have changed?

This weekend, my best friend from high school, Tess, came slept over in my dorm room. I was so excited for her to come and to show her my life here. Last year, my roommate hated me and so it was awkward when Tess came to visit because we didn't want to be in the room with her.

This year, I wanted it to be completely different and have a great weekend…but of course, my roommate this year and I start to fight the night before Tess gets here so by the time she arrives my roommate and I are not even speaking. Once again, it is awkward for Tess and I to sit in my room and just relax and catch up. Plus, all night I kept talking about what I should do to resolve this or if I even wanted to. It felt like a mix between high school and freshman year all over again.

I was so upset, I wanted to show Tess how much I have changed and grown up and all she got to see was petty drama between my roommate and I. I HATE it! I want my life to change and I keep thinking a new year or a new city will do that for me, but what I am beginning to realize is that my actions have to change if I want my life to change. I can't keep befriending people that like drama. I can't keep giving people the benefit of the doubt and letting them walk all over me. Not everyone has to like me and I am beginning to see that more and more. I know that some people might read this post and think I am selfish or critical of my friends, but I do not expect perfection from anyone, I just want to surround myself with people that have at least the same base values and expectations of a friendship as me.

***UPDATE***

Sometimes all you need to do is put your ideas and thoughts into action. I can't believe how much can be worked out if you are just confident in what you feel and how you say it. Instead of ignoring my issue with my roommate I talked to her about it and we are better than ever! I really need to remember this for the future. I am quite proud of myself, I was so nervous to say something but last year I never did and it got me nowhere.

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